This salad in a pita bread is very yummy…

So today, ya know, school, always sucks. Then there was break. We had a little penguin huddle going on. Trying to get all warm. After awhile most of us dispersed. I went to go talk with Jessie and Rachna, Carmen went to hug GiGi. Then Jessie and Rachna went to go buy some food and I sat down. So everyone’s la la la then I see Tiana hugging Carmen and I realize…I can’t do that without getting a look from Jessie. Everyone else can hug her and she can hug people and be all la la la…but not me. I have to do it when Jessie’s not around…It’s no fair. I can’t freely hug a good friend without getting a look…It’s not fair. And that made me sad…

I know that I have nothing to worry about really…but still. I already told her that I’m afraid when we’re not together. I am afraid that I’ll lose her to someone else…that I’ll escape her mind for a single moment…and so this whole not being able to hug her or hold her without getting a look from someone makes me nervous. That is why I try to spend as much alone-ish time with her as I can. I’m not trying to say that “oh, I’ll do everything and anything I can just to make her stay with me…” I just like being with her. We could just sit next to each other, not doing anything, and I’ll be perfectly fine. But alas…

I have also realized that I need to get a job this summer. I need money. My parents cannot contribute very much to my college fund; therefore, I need to start saving up. I do not want to work with food. I’d rather work somewhere with clothes, or more preferably, somewhere like Barnes and Noble. By the time I go to college, I probably won’t have very much…but it’s still good to have something.

I need a plan. I need a plan. I need…her.

2 years, 40 days…